I still suck at titles.

I suppose I better start off with apologizing for pretty much saying my Grandmaman was gone, then going myself. The funeral was the Wednesday, the 4th. For the third time only in my lifetime, I saw my father cry. The first when he accidentally dropped my little sis as a bub (It was literally only a couple of feet, if that, and she was perfectly fine), and the second when he received news that his father had died. So yeah, that had me messed up and sick to the stomach, to see my father like that. I don't know how I felt. Still don't

It's unreal, to me. I wasn't there when Grandmaman passed away, didn't see her in the casket (It was closed) and it just feels like I'm just not seeing her. She's there, some small ways away, but I could see her soon. It's not really registering she'd gone. I know for a fact she is, it's... it's hard to describe.

So I'm unsecluding myself from my self-induced social coma. I'm fairly certain I'm stable and all. Still a little wary for the fact it feels like I haven't really grieved, but we'll see

TL;DR I'M WEIRD _sorry